Meditation for Mommies: A Remedy for Mommy Brain & Baby Blues

Mama-hood ain't easy. Ain’t no sugar coating going on here people. I am mom and I’m here to tell it like it is. And it’s not that I’m dwelling in a big vat of self-pity. It’s just the honest-to-god truth. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Sure, if our only objective was to try and keep these little humans alive and breathing, it would make our jobs a lot less complicated and stressful – although just keeping them alive is enough to evoke a panic attack or two. However, as moms, we want our children to grow up to be connected, emotionally intelligent, resilient, empathetic, compassionate…blah blah blah…it’s a huge f*cking list of attributes and skills that we are trying to instill in our children and it’s downright exhausting and depleting. And it starts from the moment you get knocked up.

From pregnancy brain to mommy brain - to a misshapen body, belly and/or vagina - being a mom takes a huge toll on you. Being engulfed in mommy-hood is such an overwhelming feeling which you can’t fully prepare for until you’re in it. And the immense, foreign feelings are unparalleled.

Unfortunately as moms, we usually sacrifice a lot for our little humans. It’s not just our nipples, our bodies, our sleep and our clean clothes…it’s our sanity too. No one tells you that becoming a mom will make you feel f*cking crazy most of the time. Like “I’d rather be locked in a padded room right now” kind of crazy. Like do those moms in the diaper commercials look stressed to you? Nope. Liars.

While on this self-sacrificing train, we often don’t make time for some of the beneficial things we could do to help ourselves escape from these overwhelming feelings of despair. However, I have a secret. It’s an ancient trick that every mom can do at any point in time during the day, which will only take moments and it won’t cost you a dime. It’s a little secret called ‘meditation’. And it’s a mommy life saver.

Let me just repeat that one more time for dramatic effect. No joke…it’s a f*cking miraculous mommy life saver.

I started meditation about a decade ago, long before creating babies. But somehow once I delivered my first baby, I felt busy and I stopped. I seemed to have forgotten how important it was to keep that practice especially at a time when it could have significantly benefited the most.

Being a new mom is life changing. Your brain is suffering due to lack of sleep. And the surge of new hormones is not only rewiring your brain for mommy-hood but is creating waves of explosive emotions that you’ve never felt before. As a mom, and especially a first-time mom, the postpartum period has you flooded with increased anxiety and worry which is actually a normal function of mom and baby development as it creates “healthy” anxiety-producing thoughts that leads you to check on the baby frequently. It’s our human biological response to ensure survival really. So even in our ultra-sophisticated, modern world full of video baby monitors, ankle monitors, baby wearing attire and swivel-rolling-portable bassinets, our bodies still distribute anxiety ridden thoughts and feelings as nature’s way of being sure that moms are still trying to keep their babies alive, personally. So no, you are not a weirdo mom for ‘over-checking’ and you can now feel settled in knowing that it’s a biological response that you cannot avoid.

Let’s also address the fact that it’s impossible to actually rest. Our nervous system is so deeply wired to react to our baby’s cries that it’s instinctual to immediately want to get up, move and tend to our babies. But often as new moms we are always anticipating a cry, so we are essentially standing at attention all day long, jerking at every peep and sound that we hear. This is beyond exhausting. But again, its nature’s way of making sure that moms take care of their young.

However, in this day and age, where we don’t live in the caves or in the wild, where we have things like technology and fancy things called blankets and houses, we don’t really need our old, exhausting biological paging systems which were once required for human survival. None the less, our bodies are just operating systems filled with bombs of exploding hormones, emotions, uncontrollable intuitive responses and all we can do is try our best to navigate this.

Generally, there’s a plethora of simple remedies we can use to combat stress like; going for walk, hydro-therapy (aka a bubble bath), taking some quiet time for tea and journaling, or reading a book, or a nap, or even better…wine. But unfortunately mommy-hood takes away many of these simple therapeutic luxuries. Me-time in general is almost entirely f*cking impossible actually.

Sure, these remedies might be attainable to you if you have help. Like another useful, competent person. Now I understand the phrase “it takes a village to raise a baby". But, I’d like to ask, “Where’s my f*cking village? Apparently I did not find said village. I did not receive the directions and Google maps is f*cking useless and cannot find this illusive destination!” A village just doesn’t seem to exist in our modern world. Maybe a few occasional helpers, but definitely no entire f*cking village. Did I drop enough f*bombs there? Thought so. Moving on…

So where does a new mom, or any mom for that matter, find refuge in a sea of hormones, emotions and exhaustion? Well, to put on my positive face…you don’t actually have to go anywhere. You can find your mental Zen-zone from the comforts of your own chair. You don’t have to go anywhere, or put on clean clothes or even put the baby down really. You can do it if you only have two minutes or ten minutes. It’s that ancient miracle cure I was talking about earlier…its meditation. Meditation for Mommies.

So you can find fill your boots with the meditation basics in my post Meditation 101: A Guidepost for Simple Meditation. You can just adjust it accordingly to life with baby. Like while in the midst of a melody of cries, you can simply close your eyes for a few moments, breathe in and out and insert a mommy mantra like, “I am okay. I will survive.” And instead of finding a few comfy minutes on a fancy meditation pillow, whilst stuck underneath a sleeping baby you can let your breath take you away into deep, restorative focus.

Meditation will help combat the mommy brain and baby blues. It will decrease your stress and anxiety, help you be more present and avoid mental distractions. Meditations teaches us to breathe and focus through stressful and difficult situations. As we aim to navigate these difficult situations, like melt-downs, tantrums, witching hour, endless bouts of crying, we actually help prevent anxiety from piling up in the future. Taking a few moments or minutes (whatever you’ve got) to meditate will not only help the present moment but is also like taking a daily multi-vitamin, it’s a good preventative measure for many things and it makes us overall healthier.

So don’t try to go through motherhood crying, hopped up on caffeine, praying for wine and waiting for a miracle to happen. Create your own miracle, with just a few minutes a day of meditation. It’s not rocket science people, it’s just a few minutes of mindfulness that will create wonderful changes.

Continue reading Meditation 101: A Guidepost for Simple Meditation.