Meditation 101: A Guidepost for Simple Meditation

Meditation is making a comeback folks! The word on the street is that it’s not just for hippies and Buddhists anymore. So there’s no time like the present…why not give it a try?

Perhaps you’ve already read “What is meditation and why the heck do I need it?” if not I highly recommend it…But here we will break down some of the myths about meditation and reveal the simplicity of this practice with a breakdown of 8 Easy Steps to Meditate.

Meditation is one of the best portable wellness tools that won’t cost you a penny. You don’t have to join a class, buy new equipment or invest in any fancy new clothes. You don’t need to take a masterclass or pay for any training. Nothing. Nada. Zip. The technique is FREE, simple, easy to use and ridiculously life changing. I promise, you will feel like screaming…”Where have you been all my life”.

Who Should Meditate?

Ummm everyone. Like the Candyland Board Game: Kingdom of Sweet Adventures, this practice is recommended for all those of the ages 3+. Yes, you heard me correctly, meditation can even benefit those little toddler monsters and in fact can be a great practice to start at an early age when they aren’t filled with self-doubt, criticism and debilitating judgment…ahem…like us older folks.

For the rest of you who have progressed past the Candyland stage of life…this meditation adventure is for you too. Particularly if you are struggling with some of the following symptoms in life: anxiety, depression, coping with illness or disease (or dis-ease), sleep disorders, pain issues, high blood pressure, lack of energy or creativity, scatter-brained moms, bitchy wives, grumpy partners, quarter or mid-life crisis dads….or people’s enduring a global f*cking pandemic. So if any of these apply – please continue reading.

When to Meditate.

The best time for meditating is simply any time that you CAN do it. However some times can be more beneficial to you than others. If you can mediate twice a day, then that’s amazing, if you can only spare 5 minutes once a day, then that’s amazing too. Everyone gets a pretty participation ribbon.

So choose a time that works with for you. Any time is a good time for meditation…kind of like strawberry margaritas.

Morning Meditations:

How you start your day is how you live your day! If you can only do one meditation, then a morning meditation is ideal because our body has the highest levels of cortisol, the” stress” hormone, in the morning and meditation will reduce those high levels of cortisol and increases your dopamine levels, aka the “happy hormone”. It will also improve your productivity and focus for the day. And really, wouldn’t you prefer to start your day feeling calm rather than feeling frazzled and frantic while yelling at your kids to get out the door or yelling at traffic for being so ‘trafficky’?

If mornings are busy for you due to children or other demanding creatures, I highly recommend setting an alarm to wake up before everyone else so you can mentally stay ahead of the morning chaos. Yes, you heard me correctly, waking up earlier. But it will start your day off better I promise. If waking up early is not a possibility, anytime in the AM is still a good time.

Afternoon Meditations:

An afternoon meditation helps eliminate that 3 o’clock crash at work, or the dinnertime ‘witching hour’ that many parents experience and just helps reset our bodies and transition from the hard day at work (or work at home) into a relaxing, enjoyable evening. Meditation is a great substitute for our regular de-stressing tools like coffee, wine or numbing with screen time. Well maybe not wine, but you get the point.

Evening Meditations:

Whether you meditate before having some nighttime ‘down time’ or meditate before you go to sleep, evening meditations are great to release all the tension from the day and help have a deeper, calmer sleep. Attention all insomniacs…this meditation time is for you!

How Long to Meditate.

Monks meditate on average for about 8 hours a day. But us normal folks have sh*t to do, so fortunately this is not an option. However, how long you should meditate for is a personal preference and it’s something you can build on. Even dedicating just 5 minutes a day to meditating will give you the same results as 20 minutes if you do your meditation practice on a regular basis.

You can start with 5-8 minutes and gradually increase it to 15, 20 or 30 minutes when you feel ready. But it is more important that you chose a time that’s achievable for you. You will find a ‘sweet spot’. For me five minutes can be enough just to help me re-center myself, but 18-20 minutes allows me to dive a bit deeper into my meditation. But it’s important to remember that meditating longer doesn’t necessarily make you a better meditator, it just makes you a person who mediates longer. It’s about quality not quantity. And ideally it’s better to have 5 minutes every day rather than 20 minutes once a week. But again, something is better than nothing. So

do whatever you can!

Where & What to Wear.

See what I did there? Where and wear? I know, I know... my puns are so riveting!

Meditation can be practiced anywhere while wearing anything. You just need you. Wherever you are, as you are. Being comfortable is the main requirement.

You don’t need a decorated shrine, a Buddha statue or a dedicated room filled with incense and a fancy meditation pillow (although that does sound nice). You can mediate anywhere: on the floor, on a chair, in bed, in your car (not while driving obviously) on a plane providing you are not the pilot, or while in a line up at the grocery store. It’s called a ‘portable wellness tool’ for good reason.

You can be standing, sitting, lying down or in the fetal position need be. The point is you don’t have to be sitting like a human pretzel with fancy mudra fingers on your knees in order to be meditating properly. And while this may look like a great Instagram photo op, it’s absolutely not a requirement. Comfort is key. Also, you won’t be meditating effectively if you are sitting cross legged for the first time in five years and you lose all circulation in your legs and left bum cheek. Just sayin.

And while a matching yoga outfit, or a flowing, oatmeal-colored, linen tunic may seem like super ”on point” meditation attire, your only concern is to NOT sacrifice comfort for style.

So wear what you like, take off your shoes and get comfy. Make sure you are not too hot, not too cold…but juuuust right.

Meditation Positions:

Be Horizontal...aka lying down.

While some do not recommend lying down while meditating- I, for one, love to lie down. And it’s not just because I am a lazy, although that is my preferred state of motion. I just feel very comfortable and supported with the least amount of resistance on my body while lying down; allowing me to focus on what I actually want to be focussing on. Some don’t recommend it simply because it’s quite possibly to slip into such a comfortable state while lying down that it’s possible to fall asleep. Thus, this would no longer be meditating but would then be called a nap. However, some days, these are necessary too. So in my opinion, it’s a win-win.

Comfort Tip: Lay a heavier blanket over your body to induce a ‘hug like’ feel and a sense of security. Use any ol’ blanket, a weighted blanket or even a ‘special’ meditation blankets.

Sit Upright.

If you are sitting up on a chair, bench or sofa, support your legs & feet. Ideally your feet will be touching the ground or cross legged and supported. You don’t want to cut off your circulation - pins and needles don’t mix that well with meditation.

Get Low. Get Low. Get low, get low, get low...(on the floor that is).

If sitting on the floor is your thing, you don’t necessarily need a meditation pillow. You can roll up the end of a blanket or a towel and tuck it underneath your tailbone. This will prop up your sit bones and allow more support for the natural curve of your spine which will prevent lower back pain. I also love to have some form of padding underneath me like a yoga mat or blanket so my ankles are crushing into a hard floor.

If you use a meditation pillow, make sure you are fully comfortable. Meditation pillows are not one size fits all.

Complete Silence vs. Natural Noise vs. Music

A misleading concept is that you have to meditate in total silence. And while this can be ideal, not gonna lie, it can often be quite impossible to achieve. Sure it would be nice to lock yourself in an insulated, sound proof room …voluntarily of course…but let’s be honest, that option is not always available on our menu of life.

Meditation does not require you retreating to absolute silence where the regular noises of life won’t interrupt you. I have wasted many meditation opportunities in life because I was always waiting for the house to be empty, the kids to be preoccupied or to be alone in a quiet room. But the truth is- noise is a part of life. So instead of missing out on a meditation, incorporate your surroundings. Learning to meditate with natural noises around you can even be a good strengthening tool to improve your focus and a great lesson in letting things be just as they are… with no judgment. Although, if you have noise cancelling earbuds- I highly recommend using them!

Music is also an option. You can use this as a way to block out the noises around you or as a comforting background noise. Music is a personal preference and totally up to you. You can find meditation music options on meditation apps, YouTube and many music players like Spotify. Choose something that flows well without any abrupt changes.

Location Tips:

T I P 1:

I always announce my meditation time to the household. Will they always leave me alone? F*ck no. But at least I have ‘warned them’, the interruptions are less and I’m showing them what my “Self-care & ME-time” looks like. And the more often I do it, the better we all get at incorporating it into our lives.

T I P 2:

Are you waiting in your car more often than you like? Don’t squander valuable moments. These ‘extra minutes’ of waiting time are no longer ‘wasting time’ moments, they can be your ‘Zen’ moments.

T I P 3:

At work? Close your eyes, face a corner and if you’re really comfortable put a sign on the back of your chair saying “Quiet please, I am taking a moment to meditate because my co-workers stress me the-f*ck-out…” okay only kidding about the last part. But a sign is not a bad idea. A nice sign. A polite sign. Just think of something Buddha would say. Just don’t ask me. I may get you demoted.

A t l a s t …..

HOW TO MEDITATE IN 8 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: CHOOSE YOUR MEDITATION

And while one might assume that meditation means ‘clearing your mind of all thoughts’ it’s not. It’s entirely impossible for our busy brains, aka our “Monkey Minds” to ever stop thinking. So instead we give our monkey minds a job to do. We give it something to focus on. There are many different types of ‘jobs’ or meditations we can do. All types of meditations are good meditations. Here, we are going to dive into Focused meditation and Mantra meditation. These are both ‘silent’, unguided meditations. Both super-simple and super-duper effective.

FOCUSED MEDITATION

Here we can focus solely on our breath and how it feels and sounds while you inhale and exhale. Notice your mind start to wander? Simply return to the focus of your breath. Here you want to do some belly breathing and choose a physical point of focus. Focus on how your breath feels cools in your nose when you inhale and warms it when you exhale. Feel your chest and belly rise on inhale and sink on exhale. Feel the breath fill your body with light as you inhale and exhale out all the ‘dark’ stressful matter with your breath.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.

Or

MANTRA MEDITATION

This technique is similar however we replace the focus from our breath with focus on a mantra, which could be a syllable, word, or phrase which we repeat silently. Different mantras encourage different positive feelings or changes, like “purifying the mind“ or “accepting change”. Here is a list of Mantras and their meanings, although, you can choose anything. Any word of significance or no significance at all. The point is to repeat the word or phrase silently, at your own pace, and use it as your anchor to come back to when your focus strays.

Om. Om. Om. Repeat.

S T E P 2: THE “ANYTHING GOES” MINDSET

MEDITATIONS HAVE NO PLACE FOR JUDGMENTS

Okay so you have chosen your type of meditation. Sounds simple right? Well yes and no. The simplicity of these meditations are uncomplicated but the biggest challenge is what do we do with the thoughts that don’t stop thinking?

Your brain will continually try to distract you from your focus. Incessant nagging thoughts just seem to just come as they please, uninvited. You’re most important task, however, is to return back to your focus without any negative self-talk or judgement…as many times as needed. This is the definition of a successful meditation.

While meditating you must adapt the ‘anything goes’ mindset. It’s okay that uninvited thoughts show up to your meditation party. You don’t have to be rude to them or ask them to leave, simply turn your back and hang out with your ‘Guest of Honor’, aka your mantra or your breath. Enjoy your meditation party regardless of who is there. Reprimanding yourself for losing focus will only create an interruption in your meditation. It’s like telling Mr. Cortisol to make himself comfortable while telling your best friend Miss Dopamine to go home. A bad choice with horrible repercussions.

A successful meditation starts from the moment you choose to do one…not how many thoughts you had during the process, which is insignificant.

Will those unwanted thoughts always be present in our meditations? Likely, yes. Always. However, you will get better at returning your attention to your focus. And some days will be better than others, which is fine because the most important thing to remember is “You don’t meditate to get better at meditating; you meditate to get better at life”.

THE WRONG WAY TO MEDITATE:

After losing focus for the third time in less than two minutes you say: “Shit Self, get your head in the game girl” or “Dammit, Self, why can’t you just stay focused for 3 consecutive seconds” or “golly gosh, oh shucks” even with no cursing - it's still negative.

This is not good. Can you see my finger wag. There’s no room for negativity here people. No judgements. Only shifts in focus.

THE RIGHT WAY TO MEDITATE:

After losing focus use a silent word or visualize an imaginary action and return to your focus…like a super polite Canadian eh? For example, you can say “Thank You” and return to your focus. Or imagine your thoughts are like clouds and just visualize them passing by. Or visually placing your unwanted thoughts on a moving vehicle that’s passing by and then… return to your focus.

Often our circulating thoughts are just trying to find outlets from their stressful situations. So you can even have a chat with this audience of thoughts before the start of your meditation. It can go something like this:

“Hi thoughts, I know that by nature you are very self-absorbed and it’s hard for you to notice sometimes when I’m busy. So I’m letting you know now that I am taking some ‘me time’ for approximately 15 minutes. Please try not to get disgruntled when I do not give you my full attention at this moment. I am not going anywhere and you are all safe. However, I will not be able to engage in your fully-one-sided conversations as per usual. I will give you a smile and a ‘thank you’ for your contribution of thoughts, but I will return to my ‘me time’. Please don’t be offended. This time apart will actually benefit you in the long run, as I will be able to devote more acute problem-solving-skills-time to all of your needs as I enhance my ‘Zen-ness’ (yes it's a word) during this time. So don’t worry, we will deal with any pressing matters as soon as I am done this meditation. And this is not goodbye, it’s see you soon.”

S T E P 3: SET YOUR TIME

You will want to either have a timer set or clock or watch available to you.

There are many great apps, like Insight timer, which allow you set timers with great wake-up sounds like singing bowls or monks chanting ‘Aum’. You also have the option of developing your own inner timer. You can use your watch or download a clock app on your smartphone, which keeps the clock visible without going to ‘sleep’, take note of your chosen ‘end time’ and check back as often as you need to.

Checking your clock may seem counter-intuitive, but once you build a regular practice you will likely get the ‘feel’ for your allotted meditation time and you won’t need a timer, which can sometimes jolt you out of a peaceful meditation. While learning to self-set your own inner timer, you can also set a back-up timer ‘just in case’ you slip into nap mode which may not be ideal if you have somewhere else to be.

S T E P 4: TAKE A MINDFUL MOMENT

This is a transition moment before you begin. A time where you can take a moment to be mindful of your body and your breath. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in and a longer exhale out. Do this for a minute or as long as needed. You will want to use your ‘belly breathing’ where you will actually feel your belly rise and fall. You do not want your chest to be making the most dramatic movement.

Next, do a full-body scan. Wiggle everything as you scan along each body part to make sure that it is comfortable and in a neutral state. You will get faster at this the more your practice.

Top to bottom or any direction – your choice.

o wiggle your toes, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, sit bones and gluteus maximus

o release any tension in your stomach, solar plexus, chest

o wiggle your shoulders, arms, elbows, wrists, fingers

o turn your neck side to side, up and down

o relax your forehead, relax your cheeks and mouth, relax your eyes

S T E P 5: BEGIN YOUR MEDITATION

Now simply close your eyes and enjoy! When you are finished, don’t rush. Don’t rush to open your eyes or move your body. Wiggle your fingers and toes and give yourself a moment to rejoin the thinking world.

Now open your eyes and…Smile.

Yes seriously, because science says even an artificial smile is good for you.

S T E P 6: BONUS ENDING

Who doesn’t love a bonus ending? Well, you can have this every day. Think of this bonus ending like a gift you give to yourself. Set an intention for the rest of the day and have a moment of gratitude.

SET AN INTENTION.

Setting your intention for the rest of the day is simply stating your daily goal or ‘guiding principle’ for what you want to do or how you want to show up for the day. Setting goals helps trigger new behaviors, motivates you and promotes a sense of self-mastery. Doesn’t that sound Ommm-mazing (see what I did there? So clever, I know!)

For example:

My intention for the day is:

· to be joyful and positive.

· to be present & patient with my children.

· To stay in my heart not my head.

· To move my body.

· To breathe.

· To take each moment in strides.

· To create a clear environment – aka – clean my house!

A MOMENT OF GRATITUDE.

There is a ton of science behind the fact that a daily gratitude practice can improve your general well-being, increase resilience, strengthen social relationships, and reduce stress and depression. And after your meditation is complete, this is the perfect time to seize the opportunity to practice your gratitude.

For example:

· I am grateful for:

· my cozy bed.

· the sound of rain.

· my rain boots.

· my healthy, sleeping children/spouse/pets.

· sunshine and coffee.

· My body.

· My creativity.

· My job. · This day.

CONGRATULATIONS.

You are now a qualified meditator!!!

Just to recap your meditation process:

1. Take a mindful minute to breathe and do a body scan.

2. Close your eyes & meditate. 3. Set your intention for the day & note what you’re grateful for.

Enjoy and let the meditations change your life.