TOP 6 EXCUSES for Late Wedding Thank You Cards

mama jenny
Jan 23, 2018
5 min read

This was MY list of excuses for late Wedding Thank You Cards. It was sent out a wee bit late...okay almost one year later - but who's counting. I printed them up on really pretty paper and sent them out with all of my cards in the mail.

If you are suffering from Thank You Card procrastination then you just might be in luck. Simply copy and paste these excuses and you're all set. However, if you did not got married in Mexico or drink a lot of tequila on the day of your wedding - you're hooped. In that case best of luck to you! Enjoy anyways.

It all started with a beautiful wedding on the beach of Mexico with some of our family and friends. It was paradise. We concluded our nuptials with yet another party once we returned home with the rest of our friends and family. And almost one year later, here we are, still happily married after a year of wedding bliss.

So, I know what you’re thinking…your first thought when you saw this envelope in the mail was “Wow a Christmas card so early!” but nope. That should be coming around mid-June to early-July. But I wouldn’t suggest holding your breath for that one people! Then your next thought was... “Geez, it’s only been a year since the wedding, and already she has sent out her thank you cards.” I know...I amaze myself sometimes too! Procrastinating is just not my thing (insert lying face here).

However, I have conducted a ‘List of Excuses’ below for those of you who are fully aware that almost an entire year has passed. It explains why this letter is so late. Most likely those who are not aware of this tardiness are the ones who attended the Mexico portion of the wedding and are still in the same self-induced, blurred, tequila-coma as we are. For those who didn’t attend the Mexican party, Excuse #5 will provide a bit more understanding to the mental state of Mexican-Party participants.

TOP 6 REASONS WHY OUR THANK YOU CARDS ARE LATE

I wanted a Top Ten list, but it may have been another year late!

EXCUSE # 1

We wanted to make this card memorable

This will be the most memorable Thank You card you have EVER received. Whether or not you are laughing at me as opposed to with me right now, you will still remember OUR card the next time you receive a thank you card on time. You will think “See! Now that’s how it’s done.” But not this girl - I find that timing too predictable and I like to keep you on your toes.

EXCUSE # 2

I like to be fashionably late

No one, however, has told me exactly how late ‘fashionably late’ actually is, therefore it is open to interpretation. So I believe that Fashionably Late Thank You Cards should be delivered before or close to the first year anniversary for more of a dramatic effect.

EXCUSE # 3

We don’t want you to forget us

So have you? Probably not as much as you would have, had I sent the cards out on time...right? Right! Because you thought to yourself about a month or two after the wedding, “Hey, I wonder if they got the card I gave them? I really think that older white-haired man was lingering a little too close to that card box!” Then a few months passed again and every time you seen a white-haired man in the grocery store you were reminded of the card box situation, and then thought “Hmmm. That’s weird, we still haven’t heard from them yet. I wonder if that white haired man was even a guest at the wedding. Perhaps that’s his full time job - a ‘Professional Wedding Card Stealer’....hmmm, a good profitable profession I’m sure- I should look into that.” And you continued on with your shopping.

Now, almost a full year later, just on the brink of forgetting... BAM...a card in the mail box...WTF? ....I know right! Smart! And that’s how it’s done folks.

By the way, that white haired man was my dad; he was looking for the bottle of tequila we hid on him. You can take the white-haired man out of Mexico but you can’t take the Mexico out of the white-haired man.

(Side Note: I am currently accepting applicants for a new ‘entrepreneurial’ idea: Uniforms mandatory: old bridesmaids dresses and tuxedos acceptable; Stealthy card stealing skills required. If you are confident you would be a good candidate for this position please email me with resume. I am sure this could be quite the successful business.)

EXCUSE # 4

Mexican tequila has caused permanent damage

Some days I wake up still feeling a bit woozy. I think I have a permanent hangover from the Mexican tequila. I find myself squinting my eyes even in the dark, repeating myself and still unable to walk a straight line. And even though George consumed more tequila in Mexico than I did, I’ve always found him a bit comical and strange, so it’s hard to tell what the lasting effects are on him. Perhaps it’s only effects females. Will look into it, I’m sure Google has a cure for it.

EXCUSE # 5

Mexican tequila has caused permanent damage

EXCUSE #6

You gotta set the bar low!

I know that we have a lot of responsibilities and duties to abide by as adults. And really, we are just embarking on our mature and ‘grown up’ lives as 30-something year olds: a new house; babies to still come; scanning the drug store flyers for L’oreal hair dye to go on sale to cover these multiplying grey hairs; and the list goes on. So now that we have previously established a ‘low bar’, when it comes time to send out our (hypothetical) kids school pictures and I actually send the pictures within the same school year OR you receive family Christmas cards before the snow melts …you will think to yourself “Wow, marriage and kids have really improved Jenny. She’s on the ball!” See, its working right....Low bar equals low expectations which in turn produce surprisingly happy results.

So to conclude my list I would like to thank you all for joining in this wonderful celebration of marriage with us. And hopefully ten years from now, if I’m still using the words ‘wonderful’ and’ marriage’ in the same sentence, we can all reunite for another tequila-party doozy on the beaches of Mexico again!

Disclaimer: Any reference to “We” in the previous documentation titled Wedding Excuses pretty much means “I”. However, if I’m assuming all the blame then George is going down with me. And please don’t feel bad for him. He knew what he was getting himself into. Not only did it take him nine years to propose, but he also had plenty of opportunity to “miss the plane” or “accidentally marry the Mexican bar maid instead” claiming he just thought it was ‘Jenny with a spray tan’. But he made it to the altar and he said “I do” to the good, the bad and the fashionably-late me!